Fizzie Fortunes machine at Sasquatch And Friends

Fizzie Fortunes machines are automated novelty fortune-telling kiosks in Sunset Overdrive, scattered throughout Sunset City. They feature a holographic projection of Fizzie dressed as a mystic and for $2 Cash, the Player can receive a humourous, condescending or downright insulting fortune. The fortune will appear as text onscreen.

Fortunes Edit

  • It's not cool to skip school. Unless you're doing it to drink Overcharge!
  • Those clothes don't make you look stupid. You make you look stupid.
  • You have a challenging future. Might as well give up now.
  • The next time your mother says she loves you, she'll be lying.
  • Someone you care deeply about will ignore you today.
  • Confusius says, "Invest in Fizzco stock!"
  • That kid you hated in the fourth grade? You could totally kick his butt now, if you weren't so out of shape.
  • You have the same birthday as 9 million other people. And yet you still feel special. Isn't that cute.
  • I predict that you will be sitting at home later tonight, alone, wondering why you're such a loser.
  • You think a computer simulation can predict the future? You will be correct in 233 years.
  • They say it's impossible to lick your elbow. I say, "That's what I pay my housekeeper for!"
  • You really want to make the world a better place? Teach televisions how to be better parents.
  • Fizzie was created by overpaid marketing executives and hundreds of hours of focus tests. You, however, were a mistake.
  • Your lucky numbers are... never going to amount to anything. Ironic, huh?
  • Video games are SO much better than movies. Seriously, keep buying video games.
  • This fortune is sponsored by Fizzco, a subsidiary of MDAC.
  • You think you have it bad? Try writing fortunes for a living!
  • You have an amazing talent for wasting money.

Fizzie: The Inside Story Edit

While trying to decipher the secrets behind Fizzie's origins, the Player takes his A.I. core to several Fizzie Fortunes machines so Sam can hack into its databases. One such instance causes Fizzie's empathy chip to activate, resulting in Fizzie having an existential crisis due to his role in promoting Overcharge.

Spoken Quotes Edit

When buying a fortune:

  • "Best investment ALL day!"
  • "Prepare to be amaaaazed!"
  • "Ready for some cheap thrills?"

After buying a fortune:

  • "Remember! All my fortunes are truetothebestofmyabilityasacomputersimulation!"
  • "If you don't like it, don't complain to me! It's YOUR fortune!"
  • "Why not buy another one right now?"


  • "If you don't buy a fortune, you'll be sorry!"
  • Hey there! Wanna know what I know?"
  • Over here! Look into the future!"
  • Give me some money, and I'll give YOU a fortune!"